Guided by Voices @ The Fonda 06-13-14 (In the style of The World Famous Busblog)

Live Show Reviews, Music

Took my first Uber to this show. I was hoping the driver would maybe be a pretty girl I could fake-fall in love with for fifteen minutes. Or maybe a dork like me. Or a smart guy like busblog.

Actually I was hoping my driver would be busblog.

Because you always dream of meeting your heroes. And talking their ear off.

Not about the important things. About things like baseball and the best beers. You know. The important things.

But he wasn’t ubering not this night. So it goes.

Anyways my driver wasn’t anything like I wanted. He was like Nico in GTAIV.

Living the American dream. Driving a brand new Toyota Pruis. Didn’t know where anything was.

“Hollywood and Gower.”

May as well have said “Andromeda and Saturn”.

(My return driver also drove a new Pruis. What is there some kind of mafia?)

As soon as the Uber started driving I knew. This was something I wanted to do with my wife, get her dressed up and Uber her to some clever bar and get ourselves tipsy together laughing and teasing and maybe start to fool around in the back on the way back, because you can do that when you’re married. You can get drunk and enjoy each other’s company free of judgement or consequence because it’s just you two forever. And ever. And screw the rest. At least you hope so.

You should try it. Gotta be married first though. It’s worth it.

Anyways the driver declined my tip.

Must be his first day.

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And he dropped me at the Guided by Voices show because after Day Five of a Seventeen Day Product Run, all you need that is on earth to help you is the greatest band in the world.

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I saw Bo from Downtown / Union and spent some time with Jeremy Who Sang At My Wedding and I never did connect with Matt From The Pretty Flowers though I definitely thought about him when Guided by Voices played Motor Away during one of their last encores. Because I know that song is important to him. I thought about how he probably felt while they played it. 

That show was full of guys. Guys who have had girlfriends but probably did not currently have girlfriends. And if they did boy howdy were those poor girls bored by the time Guided by Voices played Motor Away during one of their last encores.

Yearh. Encores. Plural. They even stopped pretending to go off stage between each one.

(They probably do that at all the shows.)

There were almost no women at this show.

Echos Myron made this year worth it. I danced with a strange man I’d never met before during Teenage FBI. And also Goldheart Mountaintop Queen Directory holy shit. Did I mention Motor Away?

How about Game of Pricks?

Tractor Rape Chain?

While Tobin sang Awful Bliss I placed my hand palm flat on an amp and got close.

No Twilight Campfighter or Hot Freaks but also you’ve never gotten to sleep with Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johansson (Or Chris, Pine or Hemsworth) and that gives you no right to complain.

I was Smothered In Hugs. All night long.

And drunk.

Drunk Uncle Bob ranted about Merge records again.

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Guess no GBV-Superchunk tour any time soon huh.

It was Friday the 13th. And a honeyed-moon. I’d spent all day standing under a ladder.

My return driver knew just how to take me home.

When you ride in a car in the back seat you aren’t penetrating your universe, you’re watching your universe pass by. While someone else penetrates it for you.

Everything in here is true.

Thanks Uncle Bob you drunk bastard you.

Maybe next time Tony.

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